ISSUES with KB5035853

KB5035853, part of the Windows 11 March 2024 update, has stirred quite the storm in the tech community. Unfortunately, not all storms bring refreshing rain—some unleash chaos. For unlucky users, this update has been akin to navigating treacherous waters:

Blue Screen of Death (BSOD):

• Imagine setting sail on your Windows 11 ship, only to encounter a sudden tempest—a BSOD. Some users, including myself, have faced this ominous screen immediately after login.
• The cryptic error message? “Thread Stuck in Device Driver.” Not exactly a helpful compass for troubleshooting.

Bitlocker Boot Loop:

• Ah, the dreaded boot loop—a whirlpool threatening to swallow your ship. Some Lenovo devices with Bitlocker encryption have been caught in this maelstrom.
• After the KB5035853 update, these devices incessantly demand the Bitlocker code, leaving users stranded at sea.

Performance Woes:

• Picture your ship hitching and stuttering like a seasick sailor. Some unfortunate souls have reported significant slowdowns post-update.
• Boot times stretch like an endless voyage, and devices hitch like a storm-tossed vessel.

Other Troubles:

• The waters grow murkier. Transparent taskbar glitches, blurry images, and abrupt shutdowns plague the horizon.
• Some users find themselves trapped in a loop of “Blue Screen of Death,” while others experience system stuttering and prolonged boot-ups.

Ivanti Neurons: The Lighthouse in the Storm

Now, let’s shift our gaze to Ivanti Neurons for Patch Management. This cloud-native sentinel stands firm against the squalls of vulnerability:

Risk-Based Prioritization:

• Ivanti Neurons doesn’t sail blindly. It arms you with intelligence on known exploits, allowing you to patch based on real adversarial risk.
• The Vulnerability Risk Rating (VRR) replaces traditional CVSS scores, guiding your ship away from treacherous waters.

Patch Reliability & Compliance:

• Failed deployments are like leaky hulls. Ivanti Neurons ensures reliability by analyzing crowdsourced data.
• Compliance monitoring keeps your ship seaworthy, preventing breaches and ensuring a robust defense.

Cloud-Native Transition:

• Ivanti Neurons embraces the cloud gradually, like a ship transitioning from harbor to open sea.
• Manage both cloud and on-premises devices from a single pane of glass—no more silos.

Complete Visibility:

• Discover hidden reefs. Ivanti Neurons inventories hardware and software, ensuring you know what needs patching.
• VRR guides precise targeting, avoiding blind navigation based solely on CVSS scores.

Workarounds for issues with KB5035853

Uninstall KB5035853:

• The most straightforward workaround is to remove the problematic update. You can do this by following these steps:
  1. Open Settings.
  2. Go to Updates.
  3. Click on Uninstall updates.
  4. Locate KB5035853 and uninstall it.
• Keep in mind that removing the update means you won’t benefit from its improvements, but it might be necessary to regain stability1.

Update Graphics Drivers:

• If you encounter Blue Screen of Death (BSOD) or performance issues, consider updating your graphics drivers. Follow these steps:
  1. Open Device Manager.
  2. Locate your graphics card under Display adapters.
  3. Right-click and choose Update driver.
  4. Select Search automatically for updated driver software.
• A fresh driver installation might resolve compatibility issues2.

Run System File Checker (SFC):

• Corrupted system files can cause various problems. Run the SFC command to check and repair any issues:
  1. Press Windows + X and choose Windows Terminal (Admin).
  2. Type sfc /scannow and press Enter.
  3. Let the scan complete, and it will attempt to fix any corrupted files.
• Restart your system afterward and check if the issues persist.

Pause Windows Updates:

• If all else fails, consider pausing Windows updates for a week or two. This gives Microsoft time to address the issues and release a more stable update.
• To pause updates:
  1. Open Settings.
  2. Go to Windows Update.
  3. Click on Advanced options.
  4. Under Pause updates, choose a suitable duration.

Conclusion: Navigating the Digital Seas

In the grand saga of KB5035853 and Ivanti Neurons, we witness the clash of updates and guardians. While KB5035853 dances on the edge of stability, Ivanti Neurons stands firm, prioritizing risk, ensuring reliability, and embracing the cloud. As our digital realm evolves, these players continue their intricate dance—one seeking balance, the other safeguarding our virtual citadels.